All tied up and nowhere to go

Fetlife

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:14:28 GMT

Okay, since now a couple people on the f-list have posted, I will too!

Go to www.fetlife.com and join/post/participate and enter to win kinky gifts from Santa!

Photos

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:51:21 GMT

Here are some weird pics I took last week at the gym.

www.studiojaz.com/portfolio/FitPro/

Queen's Park - Midnight Monday Morning

Tue, 12 May 2009 05:51:19 GMT

Coming up on midnight Sunday, I'm driving around with a my sister, her roommate and a friend. The friend is Tamil, and we heard about the demonstration downtown. By the time we got there, the protesters had moved off the Gardiner, so we headed to Queen's Park.

I have never seen so many police in my life. Dundas, University and Queen's Park Blvd were lined on both sides. Two busses of full-gear SWAT. Groups on bikes. Dozens and dozens containing the Tamil group to the lawn.

I was saddened that we could count on one hand the number of non-Tamil protesters, ourselves aside.

Here are some images I caught. They're dark (it was midnight afterall), and I didn't have the right lens with me for evening shots.

Fri, 01 May 2009 03:12:13 GMT

My arms are tired from reaching out for help. They've been stretched out for so long, struggling to reach something solid to tether myself to. Finding nothing. No one.

I'm not getting the support I need. I hardly get any. My family ignores me except when it suits them. My sister's boyfriend views me as a nuisance. My sister and her roommate make lewd jokes about what happened to me. My mother questions how I could have let this happen to me. My grandfather hasn't called me once since I got back from Seattle.

Not one friend has asked to come visit me.

My doctor put me on medication. The waitlist for the PTSD program in at least a year long.

I won't survive that long.

What the hell am I living for? Its certainly not for anyone who is supposed to care about me. I can't even keep a stupid job at a movie theatre without freaking out.

People ask why I'm still afraid. He's in jail, the threat is gone, right?

No. I relive it EVERY DAY. Over and over in my mind. Just when I think I'm past something, I remember some other thing that I'd blocked out of my head. I look at my hand and the scar stares back at me. Meds dull not just the memories, but my life.

I go through brief periods of hope. Maybe school, maybe I can get myself back to Seattle, maybe COJK will take me back, maybe I can start that photo studio, maybe the program will accept me sooner, maybe someone will care enough to come and hug me.

Maybe not.

Broken

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:23:39 GMT

I had it all blocked out for awhile. I thought I wsa moving on... but no, I was just masking what happened. Things I'd forgotten are flooding back to me, and its almost too much to deal with. Maybe it is.

I was up most of the night crying. It'd been a couple weeks since the last night like that, when he was still in court. I don't know what made me remember, but once I started thinking about one thing, the gates opened, and I started thinking about things that I hadn't thought of for months.

The call this morning didn't help... "because of the severity of what you've been through..." "I've worked in victim services for ten years, and I've never encountered something so horrible..."

-sigh-

Holiday Wish List Meme

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 03:01:10 GMT

Inspired by falcngrl

Step One:
Make a post (public, friends only...whatever you're comfortable with) to your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
Surf around your friends list (or friends friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part: If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf—to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not—it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

My Wish List

1. Spending Christmas with people who love me
2. To have an awesome NYE
3. Eyebrow shaping
4. A 1.5 hour massage
5. For my former best friend to forgive whatever I've done and be friends with me again
6. An orgasm or two at anyone's hands but my own
7. A pretty cutting
8. Pop Rock Mini Eggs
9. Knee socks
10. To volunteer for... something... that helps people
1. No fighting at my parents (not that anyone could

Breaking up is hard to do

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 01:25:52 GMT

When I met C, I thought it was love. We shared so much, and differed in just enough to make it interesting. He was as much as a Master as I had dreampt about for so long, and I was at a point in my life where I was ready for real slavery.

It was magical. Our first trip to Portland made me feel like a princess. He fulfilled so many of my fantasies, and we talked for hours into the night. When he looked at me, I saw deep care and tenderness, mixed appropriately with unrelenting natural Dominance.

After the Portland trip, he said he was thinking of spending the Winter months in the Pacific Northwest. I was head over heels and couldn't bear the thought of being without him for so long, so on a whim I applied for a few jobs out that way. Miraculously, I not only got a job, but one that paid double what I had been earning in Toronto. Things for awhile just seemed to fall into place for us.

And then I got here, and they fell apart.

I don't want to dwell on the negative bits of our relationship. My friend here Tia couldn't believe that I just didn't want to throw away every little memento I had of my relationship to C. I can't do that. I still love him - I just know that we're not destined to be in a Master/slave relationship. It makes me sad that things turned out the way they did. I feel there are things we could have both done to avoid this, but when it comes down to it... What is destined to be, will be. Unfortunately, we weren't destined to be together, here at least.

Maybe things will change later, when we're not living together and so much isn't riding on the success of our relationship. For now tho, I just need to follow my own path.

I'll be "home" on Sunday.

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:24:30 GMT

I wish I had someone to talk to that I could be completely honest with, besides C of course. I'm allowed to be open in my journal, but its the only place I can be. Even then, I feel like I need to censor myself.

I feel incredibly alone. Yes, I have friends here in Seattle, but I have to hide parts of myself with each of them. My 'best' friend here is Tia, and while I feel really comfortable talking to her, because of a past issue I'm not able to talk to her about details of my relationship with C. And work friends - well, I can talk about work with, but nothing that really matters to me.

There are so many things I want to just say out loud, that I can't. Its eating me up.

I read a post by a friend today, and realized that my support network is severely lacking for the intensity of my D/s life. I would meet new people, but I'm restricted from attending lifestyle events. It feels like I'm being kept from making friends, and I need that element in my life so much.

In Toronto, I was active in the community. I had a broad network of friends in various positions and roles, and always had someone to vent to, gush to, cry on, support and just spend time with. I loved volunteering for the many events I worked with. I always knew I'd have someone nearby to help me if I needed it. Whether I was single or collared, I always had that support system in place, and it was important for different reasons at both points.

I want to be allowed to meet new people in Seattle, and I want to be able to participate in the community. I need to be connected.

Mmm, girls

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 23:37:49 GMT

I <3 C. But I'm also kinda... gay, at least according to these results. And my own admission. I am the 'worst lesbian ever', afterall.

Thanks to falcngrl and citizenfemme for posting the survey originally :) (PS - I miss you Second Wife and Mommy-in-Law! *sniff*)

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:26:23 GMT

I was in the bathroom at work today, looking at myself idly in the mirror as I washed my hands, when the light caught my hair in such a way to draw attention to it. It seemed to me that the glint I'd briefly seen was brighter than I was used to with my dark hair. Curious, I leaned in to look closer.

What I found was shocking.

I had two completely white hairs, about 4" in length. I wanted to look closer (and remove the evidence), so I tugged them out and studied them. Completely white. That's a relief, I suppose.

I've been afraid of going "salt and pepper" like my mother since... oh, since she started dying her hair to mask the multi-coloured calico that was her hair. I'd much rather go stark white when my time comes. At least then I can dye it bright pink without having to bleach first :-)

But still, seeing my hair begin to change colour means I'm getting older. I do not like this.

Although, at least I still look young. I was asked by the bus driver this morning if I had my high school ID with me to get the Youth Fare.

Daddy, will you help me with my homework tonight? ;-)

Finding my centre

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 23:21:17 GMT

Lately I haven't been able to shut off my brain. I am finding myself being pulled in a dozen directions at any given time, and the result has been that I'm not able to give any one thing my complete attention. I need to find a way to find my centre - to balance myself so that I'm able to clear my mind and concentrate on one thing at a time, at the appropriate time. If I'm at work, I need to be able to push out everything else and give my undivided attention to the task at hand. Similarly, after work, I need to be able to concentrate on C and his needs, so that I can best please him.

There are a few things I'm thinking of that might help me.

I'm a creature of habit. I do the same things, the same way, every time. I like to keep a set schedule, to have consistency. I've been imposing a bedtime and wake time on myself since yesterday that I hope to keep up, at least on the weekdays. In bed at 10:30, awake at 7:50. It seems like a long time to sleep, but because I'm not able to shut myself down properly, its taking me a long time to fall asleep. I need the extra time right now. As I become more relaxed and not so anxious, I plan on pushing bedtime back to 11:30.

I went to a discussion group for submissive women last night, and one of the things that was suggested was to exercise. A couple of the women said they take walks - not long walks, just a couple blocks - but it's enough time to kind of decompress and take a breather. That might be useful.

I've been reading before bed, which has been good for helping me focus. Well, focus on smut (Book 4 of the Marketplace Series, mmmm)… But focus nonetheless. C is out of the city right visiting right now, and if he isn't back by Saturday (which I don't expect), then I hope to spend the day catering to myself. I'm overdue for a spa day, or at least a good massage and some home-aromatherapy.

Eventually, I want to cut out caffeine, too. Not quite yet, because I know from past experience that trying to cut it out when I'm not at a completely balanced place in the rest of my life will make it super difficult. Caffeine withdrawal = bad. But once its over, I don't really miss it. It will help me sleep, which will hopefully help the snoring problem I've developed (much to C's chagrin). It should also help to keep my anxiety levels in check.

Another thing I really think will help me in so many ways… Pain. I've been itching to be tortured for weeks now, and since C has arrived the feeling is getting stronger and stronger. There have been so many moments where I've wanted to say to him "please hurt me" and stopped myself. I don't want to "top from the bottom". But yeah… I'm not a masochist, but I recognize the value in the endorphin rush that comes from pain, and the release that screaming and crying give me. Please hurt me.

straight out of Secretary

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 22:21:52 GMT

Reading correspondence in Maggie Gyllenhall's halting and perky voice from "Secretary" is quite amusing. you know, where she's typing the letter about animal cruelty or something, and she's saying it out loud...

"If you could please review your records FOR this application... and report to us ON it's status as soon as possible, IT would be greatly appreciated.......... We look forward to your... timely... reply."

I have two secretaries at the moment. Megan does my letters and stuff, and Jon is really the lawyer's secretary, but he's always in my office asking if there's anything I need. He's the coffee-bringing type. Married. Always telling me I should pamper myself. Very submissive. I wonder if he's lifestyle? heh. Actually, I think he's got a crush on me. He called me once when my office was on the floor downstairs and said "I just wanted to hear your voice"... It was odd, but he brings me Starbucks. Quick learner too. I have him my order on a post-it once, now he just randomly shows up with it.

Its amusing.

I briefly shared an office with this other guy Nic, who I've made friends with. He works form home most days, but has been in once or twice. We basically email back and forth. I'm pretty sure he's gay. He and 'his partner' live on a farm across the lake, with horses and everything. Very Brokeback Mountain (at least in my mind!) He's invited me over for horseback riding sometime, and wants to check out our new house once its all set up. Actually, he thinks I should host a dinner party, which is even more fun.

I've been semi-productive today. I had a client meeting, which was more like me interviewing the client then having to run back to my office with him to type a draft cease-and-desist, then chatting about Canada. Thankfully my office is very tidy, so it wasn't bad when I had to unexpectedly take him back. Other than that, I didn't do a whole lot. I've already done my due dates for October and November for the most part, now its just cleaning up old stuff and getting on top of stuff in the future. Cleaning old due dates has really taken a toll on my billable hours for this week. I can't really charge the client for reading through files to make sure we took care of 'x' like, six months ago. Oh well. Once its all done, I'll be able to start developing a more regular task schedule. I have to keep really busy - my billable quota works out to 6 hours a day billable to clients. That's quite a bit, considering that all of that has to be substantive work and not "administrative".

I think once C gets here, it will be easier for me to concentrate on work and make sure I meet my quota. Hopefully, since he'll have internet and I'll have internet when I get home, I won't have as much need to do assignments for him during the day. The occasional "look this up" is fine, but I need to keep in mind that this job is my/our financial means here. I need to keep it (of course), and the better my billing average is, the higher my salary increase will be. I'm tempted to ask C to make me send him a screenshot of my daily statistics - which just shows how much bill/non-bill time I have for the day. *muses*

The new me

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:25:33 GMT

I'm going to ask C if I can create a new livejournal account in my new name. This one has so much backstory to it, I feel like its not me anymore.

Today

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:24:14 GMT

Today is Thursday. C is supposed to be here sometime today with our moving truck.

This is it. God, I hope this is it.

I went to the house last night and made sure everything was ready. Set up a garbage bag for the inevitable junk, made sure both bathrooms were stocked (I even folded the toilet paper into little triangles like they do in hotels!), turned the heat to a comfortably cool temperature, and left a couple cutesy surprises for C to find.

After work, I'm going to stop at the grocery store and pick up drinks and snacks for our moving crew. I'm not sure of his ETA yet, but I'm guessing its going to be the evening.

I'd meant to drop drinks and stuff off last night, but I got caught up in my thoughts and very nearly missed the stop for the house. Deep thinking for me occasionally leads to tears, so I high-tailed it into the house to compose myself. There have been so many delays that I've been feeling... disappointed. I hate to admit that, but I do. I need to will myself into acceptance, because he would want me to be happily accepting, not tearfully disappointed. So, I hold back tears, smile, and will myself to look happy and pleasing, even though he's not here. I am pleasing him because he wants me here, and doing things that would make him happy, makes me happy.

Vintage inspired aprons!

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:38:11 GMT

As seen on Desperate Housewives.

http://dlux57.com/store/

My favourite is http://www.dlux57.com/store/index.php?l=product_detail&p=19, although I like the cut of http://www.dlux57.com/store/index.php?l=product_detail&p=143 better.

Christmas is coming, remember!

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:58:36 GMT

I don't understand people who choose to get into 24/7 Master/slave relationships, write on and on about how their Master is the most imporant person in the world, they love serving him, they'll obey without question, they are the super-slave... And then whine and complain about how they need more or have all these arguments with them.

This slave girl added me to her f-list awhile back, and I've read most of her journal from the beginning. I usually don't comment, but today I couldn't help myself. My relationship with C has really made me question the nature of M/s relationships and how slaves should act.

Copied from the journal of a "slave":
"i have been trying my best and doing what He asks.
yet, it doesn't seem enough. i know it isn't. it's not enough for me."

Maybe my version of M/s is stronger than hers, but this is my journal so I'll write whatever I want in it :P

If you're doing as he asks, you are pleasing him, and its enough. If he wanted more, he'd ask for more. Its not enough for you? Too bad! Since when do slaves get to choose what tasks she'll be given? Be joyful in service, no matter what it is. A slave should be just as happy organizing his book collection alphabetically by author as she is servicing him sexually. Both activities please him, do they not?

"i have so much submission in me, so much love to give One Person, but if They aren't around i stray. Like a lost pet, i run to the closet Dominate near me and cling to them. i find myself a NEW Owner. This is sad and troublesome i know. But it is what it is. "

I don't even know where to start on this. Like, wow. If you can't even be faithful to the person that OWNS you, maybe you don't deserve to be owned.

"i've done this to everyone Who has had the pleasure of being my Owner."

I don't think that anyone would be pleased to own a slave who runs away when her Master isn't constantly looking over her shoulder. It should be your pleasure to serve, not their pleasure to be fortunately enough to put a collar on your neck for the week or month or year before you grow tired of doing their laundry and decide to move on.

Ugh.

In my relationship with C, the M/s dynamic is so - real. I am completely fulfilled serving him in whatever way he chooses. I obey him completely and without question. The world "why" has been removed from my vocabularily, and has been replaced by "Yes, C". I trust him explicitly, and he has control over and access to every facet of my life. With the sole exception of the thoughts I put into this journal, nothing in my life is off-limits. Nothing. When he chooses to seek out and play with other submissives, I wholeheartedly encourage him. I will do anything and endure anything to bring him pleasure. That is a slave.

A slave is nothing, and everything.

All mushy inside

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 23:25:21 GMT

All is well again :)

C was just busy with pre-trip preparations. He's going to be later then expected, but I don't mind. He's in the United States and on his way to me now!

Yesterday, I was extremely bored, so I went to the movies to see Beverly Hills Chichuaha (awesomely funny, btw). I'm standing in line for the concession stand trying to figure out what to order, when the phone rings. Caller ID says its him. I pick up, so excited to hear his voice again. He's singing.

He sang me "I Drove All Night"

I had to escape , the city was sticky and cruel
Maybe I should have called you first
But I was dying to get to you

I was dreaming while I drove
The long straight road ahead
Uh-huh, yeah

Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide
This fever for you was just burning me up inside

I drove all night to get to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night

What in this world keeps us from falling apart?
No matter where I go
I hear the beating of our one heart
I think about you when the night is cold and dark
Uh-huh, yeah

No one can move me the way that you do
Nothing erases this feeling between me and you
I drove all night to get to you
Is that all right?

I drove all night, crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep to make love to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night

Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide
This fever for you was just burning me up inside

I drove all night to get to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night, crept in your room
Is that all right?
I drove all night

And then he hung up.

You amaze me every day, baby.

Updating the f-list

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 00:58:47 GMT

I've removed a lot of friends from my friend's list today. Some of them just don't post, some I'm not sure who they are, and some I just have nothing in common with. Some ignore me, so I'm just returning the favour.

Lucky for me, I have a wonderful new group of friends here that's rapidly expanding. I'm leaving all the negative influences I had in Toronto right there, and embracing my new, wonderful, contented life in Seattle.

The view from the top (well, the 27th floor)

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 00:32:54 GMT

After two weeks of seaching and a very long list of requirements, I've finally found the perfect apartment. Two bedrooms, two full baths, two storeys (the top floor being very lofty), skylights, hardwood floos, bay window, eat-in kitchen… Its in the Capitol Hill area of Seattle, which is like Queen West meets the Village. Totally awesome. We (oh how I love saying "we"!) get the keys Saturday, and move our stuff in on Sunday.

Work is fantastic. This is definitely my adult job. I love being able to bill my time to clients. The lawyer I work with is going on vacation Friday, so I'm covering her for a week. That's right - I'm covering for a LAWYER! I love when I tell people my job title, they're like "wow". Mmhmm. I feel the same way when I look at my salary… mmm…

Also, I love going on

C isn't here yet, but is arriving the 19th. I'm counting down - only five more sleeps until I don't have to sleep alone anymore! Well, unless I keep snoring, which means I'm still on my own but at least I can get a nice pre-sleep workout ;-) He has been incredibly supportive of this whole venture, and I'm eternally grateful. If it wasn't for him and an amazing West Coast vacation, I would have never applied for a job out here, and we wouldn't be embarking on what seems like a permanent vacation (interspursed with some work on my part that doesn't seem like work at all!)

Going from seeing C every day to not seeing him for 16 days in a row has been difficult, but I'm managing. My poor fingers might fall off soon tho ;-)

No pictures yet. My camera didn't make it out of the carry on in the best condition - the LCD cracked :-( So, I'm going to send it off for repair. *le sigh* C is thinking of getting a D90 tho. Any reviews?

Well, my eyes are starting to blur from too much computer time, so I think its time to part for now. I love reading everyone's journals and keeping abreast (I said breast!) of the goings-on in TO, so keep 'em coming!

Much love,

chloe (more recently known as zoe, hehe)

http://www.xe.com and looking at what I make with the exchange rate. Its like I make an extra $10,000! Its no wonder there's a brain drain from Canada to the United States. When someone offers you more than double your old salary, its hard to say no.

Seattle update

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 18:07:20 GMT

Its been nearly a week since I came to Seattle, and I love it.

I stayed the first couple days in a hotel downtown (I highly recommed the Quality Inn & Suites - very reasonably priced, clean, courteous staff, pool, sauna, fitness centre... all the stuff a big hotel has, for less than $100!) For the past few days I've been staying at a friend's house north of the city and commuting in, and will be spending a couple days crashing in her hotel room downtown this week. Mmm, hotelerriffic! Thanks kitten!

I started work on Wednesday, and its been fabulous. I was introduced around to the other lawyers and paralegals, and everyone was so excited to have me on. I'm in a temporary office right now, with my permanent office assisgnment coming at the end of the month. Very swanky place. I've got a secretary! mmm. After the orientation on Wednesday, I actually started working on files. I can write my own letters - well, dictate them. I don't really need to do much typing. Heh. Oh, and I have a Red Pen! For once its not me doing the revisions. (Just call me Mr. Grey)

The only thing I'm not liking so far is being away from C. He had to push the moving date back a bit, but I hope he'll be on his way soon.

Off to Seattle

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 03:40:07 GMT

Well, its official. In eight hours, I'll be on a plane headed West, away from my family and all my friends - well, save for one, who's coming with me. Actually, I think I'd classify him as more than just a friend ;)

I can't begin to express how incredibly excited I am. I'm starting a completely new life. New job, new city, new country even. And I'm lucky enough to be doing it with someone who is the most supportive, wonderful, affectionate, intelligent, fun, silly, handsome, powerful, assertive, and Dominant man I've ever met.

Today I was watching the season premiere of Dexter with him, and Rita (Dexter's girlfriend) commented on how "uncomplicated" things were beginning to be in her life with Dexter. I feel the same way. I have purpose, direction - very detailed direction! Everything just seems to... fit. I'm truly happy, and I am thankful every day that he allows me to serve him. I can't wait to start our uncomplicated life, together.

My plane flys out first thing in the morning, then he'll be following with a giant truck full of all of our accumulated possessions in a couple days. I'm staying in a guest house for the first few days while trying to look for an apartment. I start work on Wednesday, making more than double what I did at my last job, and with less work! In theory, at least, lol.

I got my US work visa on Friday. I was actually denied the first time, because I was missing one letter from a previous employer. Bah! So, I fixed that and trekked back to Buffalo first thing Friday morning, and after more than three hours in the waiting room, I had a very cool Homeland Security officer look over my application saying things like "wow" and "great job" before stamping my passport and sending me happily on my way. Funny, where it took more than an hour to get denied, I was approved and back in the car in under 20 minutes the second time. I guess it just depends on who you get.

I'll have limited internet access in the first few days, as I'm leaving my desktop computer at home. Once C gets here I'll be able to use his laptop, and I'll be getting a new one of my own this month sometime. I'm thinking of the Acer Aspire One, which is one of those tiny netbooks like the EEE PC with some better features.

So that's it for now. To sum it up - Life Is Good.

Anywhere but here

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 12:13:25 GMT

I spent the last week of August and most of September so far in London. I only came back to Aurora because my grandfather left a long, angry, 1am message on C's phone. Apparently they thought I'd been kidnapped and was being held against my will... Even though they've met C on numerous occasions, knew where we were, and sent us on our way with a fresh loaf of zuccini bread.

Bah.

So now I'm headed back to London to be with C for a few days, then we sorta plan on coming back to the GTA. We'll see.

I had a second of three interviews over the phone yesterday for a job. In Seattle. Making 80K US. They love me. The next step is a videoconference, which should happen this week. Next week... I could be leaving this fair country. If they need me right away, I'll fly out. If they can't wait until the end of the month, C and I will be doing a cross-country road trip to get there.

If I don't get it, I'll probably go back ot London, since my grandparents need me out by October.

Sorry to anyone I've missed in the past couple weeks. My phone's been out of time, so I've only got text messages through lately.

Crash space?

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 23:51:05 GMT

I need somewhere to stay for a few weeks (until November, latest) while I figure out what I'm doing for the next few months. I'm at my grandparent's for now (ugh), but I need to get out of their hair asap so they can get ready to head south for the winter. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to stay in the Toronto area or move, so I don't want to get into an apartment or some long term committment. I just need a place to crash for an unspecified, short duration.

I don't really want to move all my stuff, so I just need a bed and somewhere to set up my computer. If you have a spare room or basement, that would rock.

Greetings from Oregon!

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:22:49 GMT

i'm in Portland right now, sitting in the quaint Fireside Coffee Lodge, which has become a favourite haunt of ours in our quest for internet access.

I am having an absolutely amazing vacation. So amazing in fact, that I was supposed to have returned home three days ago, but extended my trip until Tuesday. Thinking back on the last week, its hard to put everything I've done into a necessarily short journal post. To sum it up:

C flew out on Thursday to Portland, leaving his dog with me to take on the West Jet flight I had booked for Saturday. I left Saturday destined for Abbotsord, where C was to pick me and the dog up. Unfortunately, C was majorly hassled at the Canadian border and I was stuck at the airport for four hours. Eventually, I cabbed it the short distance from the airport to the border, and met him there after Canada decided to just let him turn around and go back to the U.S. Of course at this point, the U.S. agents kept us an hour and a half and searched the car, but eventually let us through. The trip from the border to Portland was five or six hours, and we didn't get in until about 8am. Since it was C's birthday, Sunday was a full day with no sleep. First stop: Mount Hood, for a couple hours of skiing in the summer. Breathtaking views! As soon as we were done and about to leave, the power went out. Good thing we weren't stuck on the lift! Directly from the mountain, we headed to - of course - the beach! The big thing that C wanted to do on his milestone 40th was to ski and surf in the same day, so he took in a lesson with a man named Tony at the beach in Seaside, Oregon. C did remarkably well for a first timer, and looked uber sexy in his wetsuit. We spent the night with a girl who C had been considering as a second slave, but thats an iffy issue at the moment - story for another day!

I love Oregon. There are trees everywhere, even downtown. The water is cool and fresh, the air clean, and the people are a truly ecclectic mix. There are VW vans everywhere, and everyone is concerned with going green and saving the planet. Don't be surprised if I move.

Aside from skiing and surfing, there was plenty 'o kink, and I've really enjoyed being a slave full time to C. From having my hands bound under the patio table at Starbucks while I tried to eat a breakfast sandwhich to sucking a strangers cock through a glory hole at an adult theatre, I've certainly had an interesting time. hehe. Most of all, I've enjoyed C's company. We have this connection that makes every moment a joy, whether we're pawing through antique military clothing at a surplus store, trekking through an old growth forest with two surfboards, driving and talking for hours, shopping for stockings at Sock Dreams (www.sock-dreams.com) - he got me Harry Potter kneesocks and a corset!... or bound helpless with a dental gag in and covered in clothespins. We have such mutual trust, respect, adoration and attraction. He tells me all day how beautiful I am, how happy he is that we're together, and we talk about "the future". The future, my friends, looks bright and definately an adventure.

We're off again now, but I'll check back in eventually, between shopping, sex and mountain climbing.

Ta ta!

If only I had a car...

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 12:25:07 GMT

I was browsing through the London Craigslist (I'm entertaining a job offer down there), when I came across this and died.

Large Historic Church in Avon for Rent
$750 a month plus
4000 square feet
2 bedrooms plus office
3 acre lot
Avon, Ontario (which I couldn't find on Google maps, hmm)

http://londonon.en.craigslist.ca/apa/769118340.html

Anyone else ever dreamed of living in a church?